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TOPIC: Such a sad sad day!!
#2356
jowilby01 (User)
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Such a sad sad day!! 7 Years ago  
It’s been a sad sad day for my family today. My Mum was diagnosed with a GBM in April 2008. She has fought such a courageous battle so far, undergone two lots of surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy. Today we heard the worst news ever that she is showing symptoms of the tumour being active again but that she is too weak to have any further chemotherapy. We have been told that at best she has a few months left. It’s the worst news that we have dreaded hearing for the last few years. Mum is adamant she doesn’t want any help from carers and that she wants to be cared for at home by her family. The thought of a hospice has always been a big no no for Mum too. It’s sooo difficult respecting her wishes yet ensuring that my Dad can cope with what will unfold over the next few months. I felt I just had to share this with other people who are going through / have gone through the cruel journey we are on.

Love Jo
 
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#2357
Natalya (Admin)
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Re:Such a sad sad day!! 7 Years ago  
Dear Jo,

I am so, so sorry to hear the news about your Mum I can only imagine how difficult this has been so far for your family and how difficult the coming weeks and months will be too.

I know that Gilly, one of our members who will probably post here as soon as she sees this can talk to you about caring for your Mum at home. She and her sister did the most amazing job caring for her dear dad, Dennis, throughout his short battle and I know if she can help you in anyway she will.

In the meantime if you ever need someone to chat to, any time, please don't hesitate to get in touch with me here or via email at natalya@btbuddies.org.uk and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

Thinking of you and your family.

Your BT Buddy

Natalya
 
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Your BT Buddy,

Natalya

Founder of BT Buddies
Friend of Andrew, Proud F/O BT Angel, Rose
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#2358
mason (User)
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Re:Such a sad sad day!! 7 Years ago  
so so sorry to hear about yr mum , my husband was diagnosed june this yearwith gbm 4, we dont know what the future holds, we just hope, i really dont know what to say, feel free to contact me , and i will be thinkg of yr family at a difficult time xx
 
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#2359
gilly73 (User)
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Re:Such a sad sad day!! 7 Years ago  
hi jo,
must of been fate me logging on and seeing your post. as tal said i would post asap.

my dad was 1st diagnosed in april 09 but by christmas of that year he had deteriorated quite bad. myself and my sisters were his main carers and when he came home for the 'inevitable' to happen then the support widened to nephews and brothers in law etc. was really until ''the very end'' that the macmillan nurses got involved. it is with the greatest pride and love that i can say to you jo my dad passed away at home surrounded by EVERYONE who had looked after him. the last 12 hours were so precious so so precious.
if you would like to ask me any questions about support or what to expect then pls get in touch either on here or my email is grl_x1973@yahoo.com

im so sorry your on this journey,i myself wish id never travelled on it but we have to deal with whats put in front of us. take care of yourself and thinking of you.
Gilly xxx
 
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My loving,giving and very handsome dad was 1st diagnosed with a gbm 4 in April 09.
He fought a very brave battle but only lasted 9 short months.
He passed away peacefully at home surrounded by his loving and dedicated family on 19th January 2010.
He remains my Hero x
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#2361
beauludget (User)
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Re:Such a sad sad day!! 7 Years ago  
my prayers are with you and your family!!
 
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#2362
the mothership (User)
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Re:Such a sad sad day!! 7 Years ago  
I have not checked in with BT Buddies for while now. All i can say is you will find the strength and courage to face the few months ahead and even thought there will be much sadness there will also be some very humorous moments and memories stored which you will truly appreciate in years to come. My best tip is to take all the support you can and when your mum is looking for honesty and truth ( only when she is looking for it) have the courage to meet it with as much honesty as you can. You will find this website invaluable for information and more than that support. We are a big family and will help and support in any way we can.

Carole ( mothership)
 
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#2363
lou (User)
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Re:Such a sad sad day!! 7 Years ago  
Hi Jo,

So sorry to read about your mum's prognosis. You must have already experienced so many emotions having lived with this since 2008, but now will be trying to cope with many more. It is natural to worry not only for your mum, but also for your Dad and the rest of the family. That worry together with trying to cope with your own emotions and feelings is very tough.

My Dad passed away in September 2010 having been diagnosed 9 months earlier. He was 58 - such a fighter and so brave, but his time was short. Your story struck a chord with me as my Dad hated hospitals and was anxious throughout that he would be cared for by his adoring family. Mum gave up her job to be Dad's full time carer. She did an amazing job, but you cannot underestimate how much strain this can put on someone. She would not have had it any other way, so all we could do was keep a close eye on how she was feeling and give her as much support as possible. It became very difficult in the last two weeks when Dad's mobility and continence became poor, so that was when we accepted help from the Marie Curie nurses. They are wonderful, wonderful people and do an amazing job - helping families care for their loved ones at home and giving them the support they need whilst knowing when to take a step back to make way for special family moments. My Dad passed away peacefully at home surrounded by his wife and children - just as he would have wanted. Funnily enough it was the only time that we had no nursing cover and it was just the immediate family in the house. He definitely chose his moment. It was tough, but so comforting to know that we had enabled him to go the way he wanted to. Also, having the large family that we do (5 children), I don't think we would all have been able to share the many precious moments that we shared (around the clock) with Dad in his last week at home if he had been in hospital or hospice.

That was my experience, but of course everyone is different and it comes down to individual choice and what people feel they can cope with. Don't ever feel pressured. Just go with your heart and what feels right for you as a family. Its a lot to take in Jo and although the prognosis is not good, your Mum is still here and is clearly a fighter. Try not to jump ahead too much and plan for the bad times. Just enjoy the good while you still have them. Make special memories and treasure every single day.

Take care of yourself and feel free to message me any time if you think it will help.

Lou
x
 
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#2364
jowilby01 (User)
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Re:Such a sad sad day!! 7 Years ago  
I just want to say thank you so much to you all for your lovely comments. I am truly overwhelmed by your responses. These have definitely helped me find some inner strength to continue. I will read this forum to my Dad at the weekend and I’m sure he will also find it very helpful.

Thanks so so much again to you all.

Love Jo
xx
 
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#2416
jowilby01 (User)
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Re:Such a sad sad day!! 6 Years, 10 Months ago  
We found out yesterday that the horrible GBM that my Mum has been fighting for almost 4 years has returned. Unfortunately after two lots of surgery, chemo and radiotherapy she is too weak to continue treatment. We were advised treatment will be withdrawn and we will have to let nature take its course.

Sadly just less than 24 hours later she lost her battle and died peacefully in her sleep - she was aged 59. I am convinced she held on until after Christmas!!! I guess the comfort is in knowing she is no longer suffering but the pain of not being able to see her or call her is intense. I’ll miss her so much she was not only my Mum but my best friend too.

I would also like to say thank you soooo much for this website. Natalya you do an amazing job. I have turned to it so much over the last few years and it’s helped both my family and I tremendously.

Wishing you all lots and lots of love

Joanne

xx
 
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#2418
Natalya (Admin)
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Re:Such a sad sad day!! 6 Years, 10 Months ago  
Dear Joanne,

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum I am glad you were able to spend one last Christmas together but understand how difficult it is not to be able to turn to our lost lovedne in our time of need

Thank you for your kind words about the site, am always glad to hear from people who have found BT Buddies useful during theirs or their loved news journey.

If there is anything. Can d to help in the coming days and weeks please don't hesitate to get in touch here or via email at natalya@btbuddies.org.uk

Your BT Buddy,

Natalya x
 
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Your BT Buddy,

Natalya

Founder of BT Buddies
Friend of Andrew, Proud F/O BT Angel, Rose
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#2419
gilly73 (User)
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Re:Such a sad sad day!! 6 Years, 10 Months ago  
dearest joanne,
im so sorry to read your post. as i say to everyone on this brain tumour journey at least your mum is now free from pain.
thinking of you and im here 2 years on from losing my dad. stay strong
gill x
 
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My loving,giving and very handsome dad was 1st diagnosed with a gbm 4 in April 09.
He fought a very brave battle but only lasted 9 short months.
He passed away peacefully at home surrounded by his loving and dedicated family on 19th January 2010.
He remains my Hero x
  The administrator has disabled public write access.
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